Ocular Intercourse

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What I'll Say When I'm Homeless


I live in New York City. The greatest city in the world. Also, one of the most EXPENSIVE! Especially, for a struggling stand-up comic with a day job selling tennis rackets. I pay $1300 a month for my apartment and it's a box slightly larger than my entire body. It's so small my dick can be in 3 different rooms at the same time!

Wait. What am I talking about? I don't even have 3 rooms! And on top of it – I got to pay gas, electric, cable…. I don't get shit for $1300! The ...

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