02.27.09


Pornstar Kareoke


I was at Pornstar kareoke the other night at Sardo's in Burbank. What you didn't know I was a pornstar? Yeah, I'm a stunt penis. You didn't know that? I go in there after doing comedy with a couple friends and they have about half the bar roped off and reserved for pornstars. I sing "Somebody Told Me" by the Killers. No pornstars yet. A good thing, probably. About a half hour later, the supposed pornstars start showing up. Some of them looked like what you'd imagine pornstars to look like. Others just looked creepy. Again, what you'd imagine pornstars ...

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02.18.09


Umbrella Story


I was walking up the hill back from class the other day. It was cloudy and I had my umbrella with me just in case. At the top of the hill, there's a lady wearing a shirt where it looks like her tits are hanging out. As I get closer, I see that this lady is in her 40's and not very attractive - really, it wasn't a pretty sight folks. As we pass, the lady asks me if she can borrow my umbrella? I'm like, "What?" IT WASN'T EVEN RAINING! She's like, "I'll give you $10 for it. Come on $10." ...

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02.03.09


La la la...


Yeah, I'm like the anti-Hollywood out here. I'm not cool. I'm not that good-looking. I'm not pretentious. I'm not a drug addict. I'm not a sex addict (sure, I'd love to be but well you know I think you have to have a lot of sex to be a....). And I'm educated...

Ok, at first glance, LA appears to be like a really hot girl with no personality - great to look at but with no backstory, no charm. But, what I've since come to realize is that hot girl does have personality, a lot of personality only ...

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02.03.09


Life Insurance




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